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Thursday, June 7, 2007
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Little by Little
Parenting my children over the last fourteen years I have discovered that my children’s personality traits and interests require me to use different approaches to their upbringing. Applying individualized parenting styles based on each child’s differences enables me to more effectively raise my children. Being flexible and adapting to each child’s needs is crucial in the parent–child relationship. Children really are individuals and want to be seen and treated as such.
One of the areas I have learned to handle my children differently is in their response to change. Kindra, my fourteen year old daughter, and Jakob, my seven year old son, deal with change on a daily basis because we are a blended family. Bringing two families together puts the children through adjustments to new siblings, step-parents and in our case, a new home. Kindra has always been the easygoing one who adapts quickly to changes although she does not trust new people immediately. I can let her go at her own pace. She is more able to find her own space and fit in quickly, adapting herself to new surroundings whereas Jakob requires more guidance to adapt to new situations. Jakob needs to walk around and observe for a few minutes before he is comfortable enough to leave mom’s side. Even then he does not always feel comfortable. I have learned to go with the kid’s response. If they do not feel comfortable in any situation, I try and talk about why and how I can help them feel more comfortable. Recognizing how each child deals with change helps me to know how to make the transitions in day to day life go smoother. Whereas I can just let Kindra adjust herself to the new situation, Jakob needs the reassurance from me that everything is ok.
Another area of challenge is the competitive nature of my children. Kindra likes to be the best at everything she does. However she has also learned to work hard to win. Because of her age, my role is to support her, make sure she is on time and cheer her on at all she does. Jakob, who is much younger, still thinks he should just win automatically. I spend more time teaching him that winning and doing well takes time and patience and that sometimes he will not win. Not always winning is not as much fun, but Jakob is learning to accept it. Because they both are extremely competitive and are different ages, I have to monitor competitive situations more closely. A game of soccer in the backyard between Kindra and Jakob usually ends up with hurt feelings about someone being better than the other.
In addition, knowing how they each express their emotions in tough situations requires me to work through problems differently. Kindra tends to bottle things up inside. She needs me to help her learn to talk through her problems and work them through. With Kindra I try and engage her in conversation and push her to talk and express herself. On the other hand, Jakob is quicker to express his emotions, sometimes exploding! He needs help learning to control his anger and channel his emotions to a healthy outlet. Both need my help learning how to handle their emotions in an age appropriate manner. Because life gives them daily challenges, I try to deal with their emotions in a proactive way. Every day I talk with them and try to find ways that each child can express themselves in a healthy manner. Sometimes I do this by letting them see me act or respond in the wrong way. When mom walks away from a talk or blows up they can see how ineffective this behavior is. I try to help them see how I could have handled the situation better. I have even thrown myself on the floor and screamed. They just laughed but it got my point across and started us talking.
In the same way I have found teaching each child the fundamentals of obedience is very challenging. No one likes to always be told what and when to do something. So, I try and find creative ways to teach them to obey and respect the parental authority. Kindra will challenge me when I ask her to do something and then look for a loop hole to get around the request. I can say “ Kindra, why don’t you sweep the floor?” Later, the floor will not have been swept and when I ask why she did not sweep the floor she will respond with “You asked me why don’t I you didn’t tell me, to do it.” When she was younger a raised voice would usually get her back in line. Now, because of her age I am able to reason with her. A raised voice with Jakob can send him into a rage. He needs a non–dictator tone, one that is allowing him to “think” he has an option even though he really does not. So when I am asking Jakob to sweep the floor, I can say “Jakob you can sweep the floor first or take out the recycle.” He will feel he has the choice apposed to feeling like I commanded him to do a chore. He does not see he still has to do the same amount of chores. Although both kids really need the structure that discipline brings them neither one likes it very much. Kindra and Jakob’s response to discipline requires me to be flexible, yet very consistent, with each one of them. Obedience is a lesson they both will need to work on throughout their childhood. My hope is that they will have both learned this by the time they reach adulthood as they, like all of us, will live under some kind of authority.
However time consuming, mundane, and exhausting this job can seem at the end of each day, I am thankful I had one more day with my two unique children. As I look on to tomorrow I hope I do a better job parenting than what I did today. Remembering that, with all of their differences, my children have one big similarity: they each want and need to know that I love and respect them for who they are and need my encouragement of their individuality through my unique parenting style for each of them
One of the areas I have learned to handle my children differently is in their response to change. Kindra, my fourteen year old daughter, and Jakob, my seven year old son, deal with change on a daily basis because we are a blended family. Bringing two families together puts the children through adjustments to new siblings, step-parents and in our case, a new home. Kindra has always been the easygoing one who adapts quickly to changes although she does not trust new people immediately. I can let her go at her own pace. She is more able to find her own space and fit in quickly, adapting herself to new surroundings whereas Jakob requires more guidance to adapt to new situations. Jakob needs to walk around and observe for a few minutes before he is comfortable enough to leave mom’s side. Even then he does not always feel comfortable. I have learned to go with the kid’s response. If they do not feel comfortable in any situation, I try and talk about why and how I can help them feel more comfortable. Recognizing how each child deals with change helps me to know how to make the transitions in day to day life go smoother. Whereas I can just let Kindra adjust herself to the new situation, Jakob needs the reassurance from me that everything is ok.
Another area of challenge is the competitive nature of my children. Kindra likes to be the best at everything she does. However she has also learned to work hard to win. Because of her age, my role is to support her, make sure she is on time and cheer her on at all she does. Jakob, who is much younger, still thinks he should just win automatically. I spend more time teaching him that winning and doing well takes time and patience and that sometimes he will not win. Not always winning is not as much fun, but Jakob is learning to accept it. Because they both are extremely competitive and are different ages, I have to monitor competitive situations more closely. A game of soccer in the backyard between Kindra and Jakob usually ends up with hurt feelings about someone being better than the other.
In addition, knowing how they each express their emotions in tough situations requires me to work through problems differently. Kindra tends to bottle things up inside. She needs me to help her learn to talk through her problems and work them through. With Kindra I try and engage her in conversation and push her to talk and express herself. On the other hand, Jakob is quicker to express his emotions, sometimes exploding! He needs help learning to control his anger and channel his emotions to a healthy outlet. Both need my help learning how to handle their emotions in an age appropriate manner. Because life gives them daily challenges, I try to deal with their emotions in a proactive way. Every day I talk with them and try to find ways that each child can express themselves in a healthy manner. Sometimes I do this by letting them see me act or respond in the wrong way. When mom walks away from a talk or blows up they can see how ineffective this behavior is. I try to help them see how I could have handled the situation better. I have even thrown myself on the floor and screamed. They just laughed but it got my point across and started us talking.
In the same way I have found teaching each child the fundamentals of obedience is very challenging. No one likes to always be told what and when to do something. So, I try and find creative ways to teach them to obey and respect the parental authority. Kindra will challenge me when I ask her to do something and then look for a loop hole to get around the request. I can say “ Kindra, why don’t you sweep the floor?” Later, the floor will not have been swept and when I ask why she did not sweep the floor she will respond with “You asked me why don’t I you didn’t tell me, to do it.” When she was younger a raised voice would usually get her back in line. Now, because of her age I am able to reason with her. A raised voice with Jakob can send him into a rage. He needs a non–dictator tone, one that is allowing him to “think” he has an option even though he really does not. So when I am asking Jakob to sweep the floor, I can say “Jakob you can sweep the floor first or take out the recycle.” He will feel he has the choice apposed to feeling like I commanded him to do a chore. He does not see he still has to do the same amount of chores. Although both kids really need the structure that discipline brings them neither one likes it very much. Kindra and Jakob’s response to discipline requires me to be flexible, yet very consistent, with each one of them. Obedience is a lesson they both will need to work on throughout their childhood. My hope is that they will have both learned this by the time they reach adulthood as they, like all of us, will live under some kind of authority.
However time consuming, mundane, and exhausting this job can seem at the end of each day, I am thankful I had one more day with my two unique children. As I look on to tomorrow I hope I do a better job parenting than what I did today. Remembering that, with all of their differences, my children have one big similarity: they each want and need to know that I love and respect them for who they are and need my encouragement of their individuality through my unique parenting style for each of them
Judging cover
In her article “Judging by the Cover” writer Bonny Gainley gives a great example of the public’s right to posses their own appearance however do not expect all employers to hire you unless you meet the standards they have in place... Gainley Explains that when you go out into the work field do not look to prospective employers to change there standards to suite ones needs rather investigate which employer has standards that match your needs. Do they allow body piercing, tattoos, or do they have restrictions on hair styles? Some people expect the employer to change for them not so, the employer is looking for someone who will fit there need. Appearance is not everything but it will sometimes push a potential customer out the door rather than bring them in. Employers need to be careful to not discriminate however applicants need to be sensitive to the employer’s specific guidelines for its employees. Over time the standards will probably change and what is not ok today will be ok in years to come. Changing the accepted trend in the workplace will be something that changes with time.
Intro to Breatharianism
Paying money to learn how to lose weight is not a new concept however breatharianism is. In my English 98 class we were assigned to read a story on Breatharianism and after reading this story we were to pick one of three assignments to complete.
I chose to write a brief radio advertisement. While keeping in mind the audience that would be listening knew nothing about this new plan I was really focused on some main questions to myself. Would my word choice be strong enough to persuade someone to sign up? Would I be able to read this far fetched story and translate it into a believable commercial? These questions were tougher than I thought. However word choice made the commercial sound believable. (There is always someone to believe even the strangest of ideas) I was able to analyze the story and chose passages and words that made my commercial seem very strong in content, one that others could believe based on the way it was written. I think I showed a really strong thought process in this assignment.
I chose to write a brief radio advertisement. While keeping in mind the audience that would be listening knew nothing about this new plan I was really focused on some main questions to myself. Would my word choice be strong enough to persuade someone to sign up? Would I be able to read this far fetched story and translate it into a believable commercial? These questions were tougher than I thought. However word choice made the commercial sound believable. (There is always someone to believe even the strangest of ideas) I was able to analyze the story and chose passages and words that made my commercial seem very strong in content, one that others could believe based on the way it was written. I think I showed a really strong thought process in this assignment.
Breatharianism commercial
Are you breathing? Sure you are everyone is. Would you like learn how to make every breath count?
With our proven five day training you could be breathing easier, shedding unwanted pounds, dropping pant sizes all just by BREATHING!
No drugs, no pills, no diets!
Join us for five days of intensive fun and educational training on how to effectively lose weight with every breath you take.
BREATHARIANISM……..
With our proven five day training you could be breathing easier, shedding unwanted pounds, dropping pant sizes all just by BREATHING!
No drugs, no pills, no diets!
Join us for five days of intensive fun and educational training on how to effectively lose weight with every breath you take.
BREATHARIANISM……..
Judging Introduction
Have you ever looked at someone and made a judgment about that person by what you saw? Even though I try hard not to I know I have been guilty of doing just that. In my English class I was assigned to read a short essay titled “Judging by the Cover” by Bonny Gainley. After reading it I had to summarize it using the skills we had been learning in class. I chose to use my summary as my example of my improvement in effective writing. I think I did a good job at summarizing the author’s thoughts and yet not just copy her words. One example would be when Gainley describes how when looking for a job prospective applicants should research what employers have standards that meet there needs apposed to thinking the employer will change there standards to meet each applicants needs.
Cliff Hanger
The three quotes I found most interesting are:
“Joe had smiled as I let him slide away from me. It wasn’t much of a smile. His pain twisted it into a grimace. I let him go fast and ignored his cries” (Simpson 100).
Joe already had broken his leg and Simon was faced with the responsibility of getting them both down. The tone Simon has in his passage “I let him go fast and ignored his cries”
Simon really had to separate himself emotionally at this point he was going into command mode. Seems he was just trying to get them down alive. I think he did not have time to really care if he was hurting Joe, he knew he needed to get them both down and an overwhelming sense of responsibility for both of them making it down alive. This seems like a decision Simon had to make about survival.
“Place – lift –brace-hop… Keep going... look how far you’ve gone. Just do it, don’t think about it” (Simpson 163).
This passage really is telling of Joe’s struggle to stay focused on his main goal, to survive! Joe was not going to just lie around and die, his instinct was that of survival and he had to tell himself, sometimes even out loud over and over again how to move. The natural instinct was gone he had to verbally command himself. Joe was unable to even limp, crawling was not going to work .This act of “Place – lift – brace-hop...” was Joe’s only way of survival. I think that this really shows the mental state he needed to be in and his capacity to survive. Joe was able to push himself physically beyond what he ever thought he could go.
“They were the last obstacle which could kill me” (Simpson 165).
Seeing the last of the cliffs, Joe has a sense of accomplishment, he realizes that he has gotten through so much already. Just this one last hurdle then he will be out of danger. Unfortunately he finds himself getting too confident almost sarcastic in his attitude. He ends up losing all focus and is almost throwing away yet another chance at survival. Joe really stops thinking survival mode and relaxes in his thoughts and determination, unaware of his surroundings he had his eyes set on just getting to Bomb Alley. This seems to be a turning point in his survival. Again he has to re focus himself to his earlier way of thinking staying focused on where he is going but also aware of how far he has come and how long it took. I found myself feeling so sorry for him at this point. He seems so defeated. Yet he has accomplished more than he thought he would the day before. The courage Joe shows is unbelievable.
“Joe had smiled as I let him slide away from me. It wasn’t much of a smile. His pain twisted it into a grimace. I let him go fast and ignored his cries” (Simpson 100).
Joe already had broken his leg and Simon was faced with the responsibility of getting them both down. The tone Simon has in his passage “I let him go fast and ignored his cries”
Simon really had to separate himself emotionally at this point he was going into command mode. Seems he was just trying to get them down alive. I think he did not have time to really care if he was hurting Joe, he knew he needed to get them both down and an overwhelming sense of responsibility for both of them making it down alive. This seems like a decision Simon had to make about survival.
“Place – lift –brace-hop… Keep going... look how far you’ve gone. Just do it, don’t think about it” (Simpson 163).
This passage really is telling of Joe’s struggle to stay focused on his main goal, to survive! Joe was not going to just lie around and die, his instinct was that of survival and he had to tell himself, sometimes even out loud over and over again how to move. The natural instinct was gone he had to verbally command himself. Joe was unable to even limp, crawling was not going to work .This act of “Place – lift – brace-hop...” was Joe’s only way of survival. I think that this really shows the mental state he needed to be in and his capacity to survive. Joe was able to push himself physically beyond what he ever thought he could go.
“They were the last obstacle which could kill me” (Simpson 165).
Seeing the last of the cliffs, Joe has a sense of accomplishment, he realizes that he has gotten through so much already. Just this one last hurdle then he will be out of danger. Unfortunately he finds himself getting too confident almost sarcastic in his attitude. He ends up losing all focus and is almost throwing away yet another chance at survival. Joe really stops thinking survival mode and relaxes in his thoughts and determination, unaware of his surroundings he had his eyes set on just getting to Bomb Alley. This seems to be a turning point in his survival. Again he has to re focus himself to his earlier way of thinking staying focused on where he is going but also aware of how far he has come and how long it took. I found myself feeling so sorry for him at this point. He seems so defeated. Yet he has accomplished more than he thought he would the day before. The courage Joe shows is unbelievable.
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