Kindra and Jakob they are part of the reason I came back to school. At the bottom of this article you will see a picture of all 4 of our children the "full" picture of my family, this picture is the last day they were all together.It was a snow day and I wanted to take pictures for Christmas cards that year. I got my picture. The picture that would prove to be the last of them all playing together.Being a wife and mother is a lifelong full time endeavor something I have ALWAYS wanted to do. Four years ago my husband and I lost two of our other children Elisse and Marisa in a tragic plane crash. This has been tough on our entire family and has given us daily challenges in dealing with grief and all that it encompasses. Even though we had just a short time with "the girls" (that's how we refer to them) they were 11 & 9 when they died. We have such wonderful memories of there smiling faces. This is probably the HARDEST part of my mothering experience.One experience I think has made me a stronger mom always careful to give my kids a hug and tell them I love them whenever I can especially when we are not together. Naturally as a mom I want to take all the pain away from my kids and I just want to fix it all for my husband so no one hurts. Well I have learned I cannot do that. Our faith in God has gotten us through and will continue to see us through. He has a plan and knows what we need.
As if this was not enough pain, in December of this year (2007) 1 week prior to Christmas Jakob and I were in an armed robbery at a pharmacy . The pain that goes along with this horrific nightmare seems to be endless, we both are always looking over our shoulders he is scared of things he never was before.I had a moment where I had to make a decision and I responded in a way that probably saved his and my life. For that I am forever grateful that I had the response I had. I wrote of this in one blog entry titled " Robbery of the Young" this was a great way to get some feelings out and work through them. Something we try and do everyday!
For the last 15 years I have been trying hard to model what I wanted my children to grow up to be. I have not always succeeded in making the correct choices however I feel like at least I point out my mistakes and they both see that even mom messes up sometimes. I do know that however I mess up they Have never seen me give up.Completing this first quarter here at Everett Community College has been just another example of the example I want my children to see.I think I have been able to set a really good example for both of my kids. They have seen me upset because I couldn't figure out what the heck my instructor meant by a comma splice (I am the UN official queen ) or watching me get so excited because I got a good grade on an assignment. Never quiting! I have grown a lot this quarter not just academically with my writing but as an individual as well. I know that writing better was the main objective I just think I conquered more than learning to write better. I am proud of all my writing assignments good and bad, they all represent some different area of learning from basic sentence structure to full process essay writing.
Although my favorite thing we did this quarter would surprisingly have to be when we did a seminar! I was so nervous when our instructor Professor Shen told us about her plans to seminar with 2 other classes. Come to find out a seminar was just meeting breaking into small groups and talking about the book. Lucky for us our class came to the seminar with typed papers of notes. I felt so prepared when my group used what I had written because the other classes had not come that prepared! Well this was a first for me and I felt really good about the grade received on my seminar paper. Hard work paid off. As I sit and look back at this first quarter I see some growth and I see area's that still need a lot of work,grammar and COMMA use will be a struggle but hey I may get it. I have made some new friends and have had fun I am looking forward to my summer quarter here at EVCC, I am taking Child development. I am interested in Early Childhood development. The younger kids always pull at my heart strings. Looking forward always remembering where I came from but not looking back! It is now the end of Spring quarter 2007 ! I can honestly say I made some new friends and look forward to watching myself and them grow in our educational pursuits.
Make it a great day!!
Shellee
